Work Rage

At this current moment I am furious. I'm so disgusted, enraged, disappointed, angry, bitter and utterly pissed off. I have just been pulled off one of my biggest client accounts from two managing directors following the mishaps that occurred. I don't even know what to think. I don't even know what to do or say. I fought back tears because I felt like such a failure. Like I've somehow fucked up any chances I've had. The prefaced the conversation by saying that while I"m being removed from this one account, I'll be added to 3 other "smaller" accounts. I'll be finishing off a project for the client and then being removed from the account. What the fuck!!! I don't even know--- I really do feel like I messed this one up. I know one of the mistakes were mine, but the 2nd one wasn't! I was just following procedure and I end up having to take the fall. I think what really makes me upset is that my superiors actually had to sit around and talk about whether or not I should be removed and then have them come to the conclusion that yes it would be best if I didn't touch the account anymore. Its so easy to have everyone say- not to worry about it-- it happens-- its OK-- but really is it? This obviously doesn't fair well with my boss, if I've only been on the job for 5 months and I'm already being removed from accounts. Clearly that doesn't reflect well on me. I mean there really isn't anyone I can blame for this except myself, so it really comes down to me getting over it. AHAHAHASDFijasldfjalksdjflasjdf. I want to leave. I want to scream. I want to know why! There's just all this shit that's going on in my head right now and I'm especially bitter with the client's IR person. It's because she misses a co-worker that no longer works at the agency too much that she needs to have me off because she's worried. What the hell does that say about my capabilities! You know I ran to this blog to get my thoughts out and really it seems to have worked. I'm sure reading this makes absolutely no sense and somewhere down the line when I look back I'll realize how much I've over reacted and in the bigger scheme of things its probably all for the best. Maybe its better that I'm removed now before I really fuck things up and cost the agency a client or perhaps the company a real issue. This blows and such a big part of me wants to march into my directors office and say how disappointed I am and how it sucks that I've had to be removed and prove to them that those were minor mistakes (one of which wasn't even my fault!). AHAHASDHAHAHAHAH really there's no where to run in these damn cubicles. screw it. What a difference from my previous post this morning.

PEACE