I've Hit the Two Week Mark

It's down to two weeks. I'm done with pretty much all my work except for a few things here and there, but my time as an Undergraduate is slowly coming down to close. I stress the slowly because that's what I'm hoping the next two weeks will be like. Slow, but real.

I'm realizing that I'm pretty much torn because as per my previous post I wasn't ready to say goodbye, but today I feel like I've gotten everything out of what this town and people have to offer. I went out last night with a group of new and old friends that have been around and true to me since my freshman year. To think that they've been around and stayed true to themselves and our friendship I feel is a rare today.

I've been burned by so many people in the past, but I haven't allowed that to affect the relationships I make today. Nor should it. I've enjoyed the company I've had these past four years, but I now feel as though something much greater awaits in the Big Apple.

I could just be bored here, and I can't "hold on" to Gainesville. Everyone is looking out for their own best interest. The friends will stay friends. The truth is you have to ask yourself whether what's made these past few years fun was the city or the people you were with. I asked myself the same question when I look back at London. Its hard to really say which is the real reason everyone is afraid to say goodbye.

Today I'm excited and anxious for New York. Tomorrow that may all change, but one thing is certain... I'm ready to drink.

Hold On

The question for the night....how do you hold on to something you have to let go of? I checked a calendar tonight and realized I have but over two weeks before its farewell Gainesville-- what's up New York City? I've always envisioned moving to New York. I've worked my entire life to get me there and now it's happening. Truthfully, I never envisioned graduating college. Its all seemed so easy and normal, as if college was the logical next step. No questions asked. Its quite the accomplishment for anyone, and its hard to fathom that I've achieved it. I'm ready to move on and get my career in gear, but a part of me doesn't want to leave everything that has become safe and common place in my life. The comfort of friends, a home, school and routine.

I wouldn't be happy anywhere but New York, so you'd think the transition would be easy. I think more than anything it's the uncertainty and mystery that lies ahead that makes me nervous to say goodbye. When I sit down and think about where my life is going to be 3 weeks from now...I'll be starting my life in New York. That will be my life. That will be the beginning. That's it. My one way ticket marks my entrance into adulthood. Damn-- it doesn't feel real.

I look back at the path I've taken to get where I am, and I can remember nearly every step as if it were yesterday. Each family moment, each accomplishment, each friend I had, each friend who turned into an enemy, each girlfriend, each apprehension, each party, each challenging moment...and its all felt almost too easy. Its as if I've taken the course I was meant to take as trite as that sounds. I really believe it. Things happen for a reason and for the first time I see that and I'm learning to accept that.

You know how in the end you tend to look back at the beginning? Well what makes the beginning so much more appealing to remember than the end? My theory is you look to the beginning for answers to your end. Are you where you thought you'd be? Have you evolved and become something bigger than yourself? something better? or have you remained stagnant? I'd like to think I've evolved. That I've become something better than I was when I first walked through the door at Jennings Hall.