Defining Success

There's no question that we all have our own distinct definition of what it means to be successful. For many, success corresponds with wealth. For few, sad as it is, success is defined by the level of sheer happiness. How can the majority join the minority? It was easy when you were young and asked "What do you want to be when you grow up?" to answer "An astronaut" or "A movie director" and not understand the commitment and uncertainty that come with such career paths. It's attributable to the fearlessness we are endowed with at our youth and unfortunately lose as we progress through life hurdled by failures and triumphs. We learn quickly what it means to be fearful of the unknown, think: sleeping without the lights on.

As we progress through life, our career paths inevitably change with our interests and social norms. Some would say we begin to think more practically, strategically and concrete. You begin to contemplate the stability in a certain career and weigh the things that are most important to you. Could you really see yourself fighting to pay your rent? Is a life filled w/ Ramen noodles post college really something you're OK with? For some-- yes, struggling to achieve their level of success means sacrifice, hardwork, perseverance and faith.

So how do you know when you've reached your finish line? Is there a scoreboard? Award ceremony? Medal or sash given out? Naturally, I pose these questions comically because I'm wondering if I'll ever be able to define success in my own terms. There's no question I am grateful for how far I have come and how much I have achieved. Yet, with every new obstacle overcome or threshold surpassed, its inevitable that I'll want more. That I will always be looking for something better. Isn't that what America is all about? Propelling ourselves to the next level? Giving ourselves the opportunity to live more fulfillingly?

But maybe that's not such a bad thing. Maybe it's just my undying desire to be the best and maintain my high expectations for myself. The downfall of course, as with any endeavor, is the possibility of falling hopelessly short. Then you're left disappointed. I guess, as many who venture off pursuing their dreams realize, that the only risk you run is not trying at all. Selling yourself short before even trying is quite possibly one our biggest pitfalls and our insecurities are to blame.

So when a new acquaintance who is your age asks you what you do, you oblige by saying you're an "Account Executive." They nod politely and you attempt to jump back from the depths of utter confusion by saying "In investor relations." Now you've really lost them. But just when you've given up the slightest glimmer of hope in explaining what it is that brings you to New York, they say "Sounds expensive." You're taken a back. Not quite sure what to respond, but it's OK because they quip almost instanteously "So where do you live?" You politely and without a hint of arrogance respond "In a studio on the Lower East Side." And here's where the conversation left me wondering at the ripe old age of 23. My new friend says, partly to himself and partly to me, "I can't wait to have a real job and be successful."

Not quite sure which part to him made me successful, but it would seem by the way the conversation was steered it was the living alone in the L.E.S. that closed the deal. So you take a step back, survey the situation, and wonder if perhaps he's on to something. On the surface, success can be ridden with materialism, but deeper than that lies the ideals of hardwork, drive and stability.

Ultimately, you're responsible for your own success. You decide whether you're willing to venture into the dark (unknown) or cruise along comfortably hoping something steers you in the right direction. When my cousins, who are roughly the same age as me, look at my current state, it's hard for them to not reply to me by saying "You made it." Well sure, but it's because I wanted it and worked for it.

In a city laden with the desire to make something of yourself and play on par with the best of them, it is sometimes easy to selfishly want more and overlook how far you've come. But every now and then, when you're confronted with reality or that youthful hopefulness, perhaps you'd be better suited to stop chasing your ever evolving, idealized podium of success and just acknowledge the significant strides you make.