Having high expectations for anything can result in bitter disappointment. Think Prom Night or New Year's Eve. It's all the anticipation, hype and quite frankly pressure to make it such a stellar night or event that it turns out being really -- well -- lame.
I've found that the best nights out in New York have truly been the ones that are unplanned, unhinged and done with the greatest degree of spontaneity. The tiny dive bar that screams health code violations and usual patrons that reek of every possible human excretion, fast becomes your cheapest night out in Manhattan and perhaps the most memorable simply because it was unexpected and you let your guard down for the possibility.
I'd say on par with that experience was this past weekend. I got back into an activity I enjoyed so much back in college -- indoor rock climbing -- and left the rest of my weekend up to its own devices. There was nothing to be gained, had or lost when there was nothing to check off a list or accomplish. Time, for the first time in Manhattan, seemed to slow down, progress slowly and at moments dragged on (but in the most enjoyable of ways).
For no other reasons but the fact that I had nothing set in stone, no To-Do list and I let go of any expectations, was this weekend one of my highest ranking weekends on my non-existent list of "BEST WEEKENDS EVER."
stay present and go with the flow...the rest will just come naturally. climb on.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
The Dilemma
To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk rejection.
To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or love.
Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave.
He has forfeited his freedom.
Only a person who takes risks is free.
~ anonymous
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk rejection.
To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or love.
Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave.
He has forfeited his freedom.
Only a person who takes risks is free.
~ anonymous
Friday, November 14, 2008
le mot juste (the right word).
To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost. - Gustave Flaubert
There is no question that each of us has our own qualifiers for our happiness. However, on this endless quest to achieve happiness there is little doubt in mind that, and Flaubert says it best, without stupidity -- all is lost.
As I've come to learn (err accept) from my own shortcomings is that without those blurred moments of impaired judgement, otherwise referred to as "stupidity," I'd seldom realize the reality and truth behind any of my characteristically over-analyzed actions. It's the "a-ha" moments or Homer Simpson-esque "Duh-o!" revelations that have come to be my greatest purveyors of life's little wisdoms.
As people we lack the ability to avoid misfortunes, mistakes and temporary lapses of character-- as much as we'd like to perceive ourselves as the Captain's of our own ship-- we all fall sometimes and we're better for it. Over the last year (more so now than before) , I've garnered my fair share of unabashed battle scars from the metaphorical trips I've ruthlessly agonized over. Stupidity, in its most sincerest and jovial of forms, is teaching me that enjoying the ride far outweighs your final destination.
Flaubert, always seeking le mot juste, has in, in my opinion, found it in qualifying happiness as a balance of stupidity, selfishness and good health. Stupidity in learning from the errors of our ways, selfishness in the constant self-reflection for betterment and good health in mind, body and spirit.
Well, two out of three ain't bad.
There is no question that each of us has our own qualifiers for our happiness. However, on this endless quest to achieve happiness there is little doubt in mind that, and Flaubert says it best, without stupidity -- all is lost.
As I've come to learn (err accept) from my own shortcomings is that without those blurred moments of impaired judgement, otherwise referred to as "stupidity," I'd seldom realize the reality and truth behind any of my characteristically over-analyzed actions. It's the "a-ha" moments or Homer Simpson-esque "Duh-o!" revelations that have come to be my greatest purveyors of life's little wisdoms.
As people we lack the ability to avoid misfortunes, mistakes and temporary lapses of character-- as much as we'd like to perceive ourselves as the Captain's of our own ship-- we all fall sometimes and we're better for it. Over the last year (more so now than before) , I've garnered my fair share of unabashed battle scars from the metaphorical trips I've ruthlessly agonized over. Stupidity, in its most sincerest and jovial of forms, is teaching me that enjoying the ride far outweighs your final destination.
Flaubert, always seeking le mot juste, has in, in my opinion, found it in qualifying happiness as a balance of stupidity, selfishness and good health. Stupidity in learning from the errors of our ways, selfishness in the constant self-reflection for betterment and good health in mind, body and spirit.
Well, two out of three ain't bad.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
iRecession
Unless you've been living in a dark confine off the coast of the United States with no access to a newspaper or television, you should be well aware that we are in the severest of economic crisis witnessed by our generation (excluding 2001). Financial institutions are buckling left and right, the Federal Government is intervening to keep markets from further plummeting, our parents homes have witnessed substantial decreases in value, unemployment is at its highest, the once thriving automobile industry (the life and blood of ad-based business and thus most of my clients) is fast following its financial bretheren and a looming cloud of job (in)security grays the skies of every young professional.....including this one.
Lets be real about the current state of our economy for a moment and acknowledge that things appear to only get worse as the days get shorter. The Dow plunges at every news briefing, Presidential address and Wall Street downgrade. Having been 16 during the 2001 recession, I hardly comprehended the severity of the situation until I've been bitch slapped by the reality that I am now a working professional with rent and utility bills in my name.
So as these major corporations continue to reduce their costs to offset weak revenue figures and slash headcounts, it is only natural for the younger wrung employees to contemplate their ROI (return-on-investment) for their employers. Could they really do without me? Would I be the first to get cut should the economy continue its deep-sea dive? Your survival instincts begin to kick-in as you evaluate your worth versus those equivalent to you...you're far more detail oriented, you've been with the firm much longer, you're reliable, trustworthy and you're an Account Executive. All seem positive, but when push comes to shove can someone else do my job for less money? ... I won't answer that.
Financial advisors and money gurus suggest I save three to six months of expenses in a high-yield savings account for emergency purposes. Well, saving anything in New York is about as easy as finding a descent sized apartment in lower Manhattan at a reasonable price -- It's. Just. Not. Possible. Granted there are certainly some cost cutting initiatives that could be made on my part, but that would mean sacrificing personal gratification and I am all about instant gratification. Plus I need to go out to eat on occassion, happy hours and impulse purchases to counterbalance the stress imposed by particularly busy work weeks and demanding bosses.
The current climate is freightening. You can't help but hear about how there is "no bottom in sight" with every news brief and the uncertainty that remains as we enter a new year and new administration (Come on Obama!). So, I remain grateful for my steady paychecks and keep my fingers crossed that my spending habits will subside so as to not tap into my 401(k). As for saving three to six months of expenses, its comical to even suggest that, that is plausible at the moment...
As I say in happier times with my friends Jack, Jose and Johnny...bottoms up!
Lets be real about the current state of our economy for a moment and acknowledge that things appear to only get worse as the days get shorter. The Dow plunges at every news briefing, Presidential address and Wall Street downgrade. Having been 16 during the 2001 recession, I hardly comprehended the severity of the situation until I've been bitch slapped by the reality that I am now a working professional with rent and utility bills in my name.
So as these major corporations continue to reduce their costs to offset weak revenue figures and slash headcounts, it is only natural for the younger wrung employees to contemplate their ROI (return-on-investment) for their employers. Could they really do without me? Would I be the first to get cut should the economy continue its deep-sea dive? Your survival instincts begin to kick-in as you evaluate your worth versus those equivalent to you...you're far more detail oriented, you've been with the firm much longer, you're reliable, trustworthy and you're an Account Executive. All seem positive, but when push comes to shove can someone else do my job for less money? ... I won't answer that.
Financial advisors and money gurus suggest I save three to six months of expenses in a high-yield savings account for emergency purposes. Well, saving anything in New York is about as easy as finding a descent sized apartment in lower Manhattan at a reasonable price -- It's. Just. Not. Possible. Granted there are certainly some cost cutting initiatives that could be made on my part, but that would mean sacrificing personal gratification and I am all about instant gratification. Plus I need to go out to eat on occassion, happy hours and impulse purchases to counterbalance the stress imposed by particularly busy work weeks and demanding bosses.
The current climate is freightening. You can't help but hear about how there is "no bottom in sight" with every news brief and the uncertainty that remains as we enter a new year and new administration (Come on Obama!). So, I remain grateful for my steady paychecks and keep my fingers crossed that my spending habits will subside so as to not tap into my 401(k). As for saving three to six months of expenses, its comical to even suggest that, that is plausible at the moment...
As I say in happier times with my friends Jack, Jose and Johnny...bottoms up!
Monday, November 03, 2008
Losing My Grip
I feel like I am losing my grip. Like I've lost sight of something that was right in front of me.
The last few weeks, it is like the city has consumed me. I've given into the temptations and chaos that encapsulates New York.
I came here driven and eager to succeed, but it is like I've lost sight of that. I have to step back from the situation. Work on the things that I once found solace in and perhaps just build up the person that I seem to be becoming.
I never wanted New York to change me, but living here the past year and half has most certainly begun molding me differently. Right now it's a toss up as to whether I like it or not and perhaps that's where my discomfort lies. Where I once knew what I wanted so definitively, such as life goes, things have taken their own course. As much as you'd like to think you have control of the reigns, you can only hold on tightly and wade out the course. It's trite, yes, but its perhaps the best characterization of where I stand right now.
Is it the City? Or is it that I'm growing up? Sure, I've been an "adult" since 18, but what if I'm slowly transitioning into how we once looked at our parents? The spitting image of their sacrifice, hard work and endless desire to provide something better. What are we all working toward? It's as though with all the responsibility I've begun taking on as a 23-year-old soon to be 24, I've given up on living now and adopted thinking about surviving later. Retirement? 401K's? Health insurance? High-yield savings accounts? Roth IRAs?
Interestingly enough I revel in my own self-reflecting moments of uncertainty, confusion, anxiety and insecurity. I know I always come out on the other end understanding better what it is that I am after. I know I need those moments to evaluate how far I've steer off course and what it is going to take to get me back. In the process there's always something new to be had...
For now, I seek comfort in iced coffee and good music...
The last few weeks, it is like the city has consumed me. I've given into the temptations and chaos that encapsulates New York.
I came here driven and eager to succeed, but it is like I've lost sight of that. I have to step back from the situation. Work on the things that I once found solace in and perhaps just build up the person that I seem to be becoming.
I never wanted New York to change me, but living here the past year and half has most certainly begun molding me differently. Right now it's a toss up as to whether I like it or not and perhaps that's where my discomfort lies. Where I once knew what I wanted so definitively, such as life goes, things have taken their own course. As much as you'd like to think you have control of the reigns, you can only hold on tightly and wade out the course. It's trite, yes, but its perhaps the best characterization of where I stand right now.
Is it the City? Or is it that I'm growing up? Sure, I've been an "adult" since 18, but what if I'm slowly transitioning into how we once looked at our parents? The spitting image of their sacrifice, hard work and endless desire to provide something better. What are we all working toward? It's as though with all the responsibility I've begun taking on as a 23-year-old soon to be 24, I've given up on living now and adopted thinking about surviving later. Retirement? 401K's? Health insurance? High-yield savings accounts? Roth IRAs?
Interestingly enough I revel in my own self-reflecting moments of uncertainty, confusion, anxiety and insecurity. I know I always come out on the other end understanding better what it is that I am after. I know I need those moments to evaluate how far I've steer off course and what it is going to take to get me back. In the process there's always something new to be had...
For now, I seek comfort in iced coffee and good music...
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