Hold On

The question for the night....how do you hold on to something you have to let go of? I checked a calendar tonight and realized I have but over two weeks before its farewell Gainesville-- what's up New York City? I've always envisioned moving to New York. I've worked my entire life to get me there and now it's happening. Truthfully, I never envisioned graduating college. Its all seemed so easy and normal, as if college was the logical next step. No questions asked. Its quite the accomplishment for anyone, and its hard to fathom that I've achieved it. I'm ready to move on and get my career in gear, but a part of me doesn't want to leave everything that has become safe and common place in my life. The comfort of friends, a home, school and routine.

I wouldn't be happy anywhere but New York, so you'd think the transition would be easy. I think more than anything it's the uncertainty and mystery that lies ahead that makes me nervous to say goodbye. When I sit down and think about where my life is going to be 3 weeks from now...I'll be starting my life in New York. That will be my life. That will be the beginning. That's it. My one way ticket marks my entrance into adulthood. Damn-- it doesn't feel real.

I look back at the path I've taken to get where I am, and I can remember nearly every step as if it were yesterday. Each family moment, each accomplishment, each friend I had, each friend who turned into an enemy, each girlfriend, each apprehension, each party, each challenging moment...and its all felt almost too easy. Its as if I've taken the course I was meant to take as trite as that sounds. I really believe it. Things happen for a reason and for the first time I see that and I'm learning to accept that.

You know how in the end you tend to look back at the beginning? Well what makes the beginning so much more appealing to remember than the end? My theory is you look to the beginning for answers to your end. Are you where you thought you'd be? Have you evolved and become something bigger than yourself? something better? or have you remained stagnant? I'd like to think I've evolved. That I've become something better than I was when I first walked through the door at Jennings Hall.