Confessions of a former Collar Popper

i think it is about time i start having a little more fun with this blog. for starters, i will begin by no longer using capitalization as a form of defiance to the grammatical gods and an extended middle finger to the english teachers whose principle satisfaction comes from the power wielded in a red magic marker. 

as a former collar popper and self proclaimed yuppy, i am happy to report it is much harder to shake the habit of keeping my beloved neck warm these cold winter months. plus, a blue peacoat just doesn't look as rad with the collar flat as it were meant to be. the popped collar adds a flare of bad ass to the get up and by "flare of bad ass" i mean air of douche bag (should this be a compound word?). 

i have recently become enamored with the idea that i can find solace and temporary eclipses of absolute euphoria by either a) a small impulse purchase b) a simple act of kindness c) acknowledgement of my own unregarded stupidity. 

scenario numero uno: water is no longer just water after drinking glaceau's smart water. call me a consumer. call me ridiculous. but the silky smoothness of the vapor distilled, electrolyte packed water is unlike any other refreshing source of known to me in my current state. 

part deux: you know the feeling you get when you buy someone a gift you know they have a) wanted or b) would absolutely love? it almost beats actually being the recipient of a gift (depending on the gift--hence the almost). i am totally the person who gets so anxious to give the gift that i can hardly contain myself and have to give the gift far ahead of its anticipated date of delivery. seriously-- finding joy in someone else's happiness -- the moments can be few and far between so i try to revel in them.

mona je tua: no doubt a threesome would be fun, but that's not where i am going with this. can we just talk about spontaneity for a moment? does anything beat the unhinged and blatant disregard for time only to escape in a clouded moment of desperation for what seems like a change of scenery or exhilarating breath of air. are you following me here? you know the in the movies there is always that heroin who seems to embrace every facet of life as if it were the first time she were seeing it through her own eyes? you know-- the girl the guy falls head over heels over because she opens his eyes to the world he has somehow seemed to have written off so casually....... well, i feed off that spontaneity. bring on some of that disregard and sense of adventure. uncensored. unhinged. unplanned and for the love of everything that is good -- completely uncontrolled.

almost four: so i make lists. i know what i don't want. struggle to figure out what i do want. have begun to thrive off my uncertainty with a smile. i laugh at myself because sometimes i am just all kinds of stupid. a friend said today in response to my comment about once being 21 and stupid... 'now you're 24 and less stupid' (the comment in this frame of context sounds malicious, but i assure you it was not). truth be told, he is right. i am not talking about intellectually stupid, but the other kind of stupid. the kind of stupid you look back a few years down the line and say 'wow -- i was stupid for thinking that way, for saying that, for being afraid of doing that, for not going there, for holding back' -- that is the kind of stupid i am becoming less of or working on becoming less of. 

so lets loosen up the skinny tie. unbutton the top button. it's time i have a little more fun with some of the adventures and lessons i come across in the busy streets of new york. just don't expect me to pop the collar of my lacoste polos any time soon. at least not while i am rocking my aviators. that would just make me... well, you already know.