Putting Your Feet on the Seat Could Cost Ya

Let me paint you a picture of what this past weekend was like for me. Now, looking back I realize it's actually a lot funnier than at the time. I spent the better part of my weekend trying to cut my spending to a minimum. I've realized, looking at my bank account, that my standard of living has become a bit on the extravagant side and it's time to draw it back a bit. By that I mean I have my friend CJ coming into town tomorrow and I know she's going to want to check out all the cool places I've discovered, so I'm gonna need some extra cash.

Friday- I headed out to the East Village at what has become my favorite hang out for good drinks and good times with good people (shout out to DB and DP). As usual, we got the corner booth, sipped on some deliciously mixed drinks and found ourselves clicking our feet mid-air, karate kicking and snap windmills with our arms at 3 a.m. If you were there you know what I'm talking about. Odd-- but fun.

Saturday- My friend CM invited me to a NY Red Bulls soccer game where they were playing the New England Revolutions. While, we arrived at half time (because I tend to run late alot now) it was still a good time. Now, you'd never envision an American soccer league game to be entertaining, or intense, but it was a little of both. We sat just off to the side of one of the goals in the "Raging Bulls" section, sipped on some $8.00 beers (that hurt a bit) and watched some futbol. Perhaps the intense portion of the evening was post-game when the New England Revolution fans came chanting out of the stadium (where the Giants play) holding up their teams scarf (as they do in Europe) and singing their fight song. It got real interesting when the Red Bull fans belligerently began giving them the bird and welcoming any sign of a brawl. It reminded me of the movie Green Street Hooligans about the Manchester United fans over in the UK. The two crowds started to clash a bit-- with a few nudges, spitting and tossling of one another-- but nothing of catastrophic consequences ensued. It was just funny to see these people actually come close to fighting over a soccer game...American soccer. Yet, at the same time the spirit and pride for their teams made me miss game day at UF...walking into the Swamp (or O'Connell Center), chanting "Gator Bait," doing the Chomp and looking down on our opponent as if they were inferior to the wrath of the Gators (turns out with 3 National Championships they were). We headed back into the city where we ate-- get this-- WHITE CASTLE. No, we were not under the influence of any substance other than alcohol, but I did manage to eat half a dozen little cheeseburgers that were actually much more delicious than I anticipated. We brought back to CM's place and I had another first--playing Nintendo Wii. It's nice to know that the gaming industry is making a conscious (or unconscious?) effort to get the fat kids off the couch and moving by making the game console active. You actually have to put forth effort in some of those games....I was surprised.

So here's where it really gets interesting...since I've made you wait so long into this entry. It's 2 a.m. and I decide to head home from CM's apartment. I hope on the 'Q' train and knowing that I had a bit of a ride ahead of me I decide to get comfortable, so I kick up my feet on the seat in front of me, rest my head on the window and doze off. Now, sleeping on the train is faux sleeping because you're sleeping, but you're also aware of where you are, who's around you and when the train stops (if you're lucky). I'd been on the train for about 20 mins. when we pull up to the Atlantic-Pacific platform. I wake up to check out how many more stops left till mine (I count 2) and check my watch (2:35 a.m.). With my feet still rested on the seat in front of me I think nothing of it....until a cop walks up to the door (as it is about to close) and fingers to me to get off the train, while saying "Please step of the train." Perplexed...a bit buzzed...and grawgy from my abrupt brush with the law...I oblige. The rest of the conversation was as follows:

(Int: A well-lit subway platform 2:36 a.m. a crowd of 6 police officers occupy the area)

Cop #1:

Do you know why I asked you to get off the train?

Dru:

No

Cop #2:

Did you fall asleep?

Dru:

(frustrated)

Yeah.

Cop #1:

Do you have an ID with you?

Dru:

Yeah. (Reaching for the ID) What's this about?

Cop #1:

I pulled you off the train for having your feet on the seat.

And if I didn't...I wouldn't be doing my job.

Dru:

I wasn't aware you couldn't put your feet on the seat.

Cop #1:

(non-chalantly)

Oh yeah. You haven't seen the signs? They're posted everywhere

(pointing behind him half-assed as if it were just a known fact)

Dru:

No. I had no idea.

Cop #1:

(Looking at the ID)

You're from Florida?

Dru:

(playing the stupid visitor)

Yeah. I just moved here two weeks ago. (Frustrated) I had no idea you couldn't put your feet on the seats.

Cop #1:

(Ignoring Dru's remark)

Do you have a Brooklyn address?

Dru:

(still graugy)

Yeah.

Cop #1:

Ok. I'm going to run your name through dispatch. Is there anything on

your record that I should know about? (presuming there should be)

Dru:

Uh...no

Cop #1:

Are you sure? Because if there is and you're lying to me.

Dru:

(half mocking- half thinking you're a fucking schmuck)

No.

(He phones in my name using the military alphabet for every letter. Standing around Dru notices a group of 4 guys around his age also being questioned by a group of cops. The cop, who happens to be shorter than Dru (which is saying a lot) continues to fill out a yellow slip of which Dru thinks nothing about. Just then a big black woman approaches the cops and Dru.)

Cop #1 & Cop #2

(In Sync)

Hey Searg!

* They actually said that. Like in those cop shows. It made me laugh

Radio:

Come in...his records clean. Proceed with (inaudible)

Cop #1:

(Filling out paper work)

Dru:

Out of curiousity how much is it normally? (assuming he was getting let off with a warning)

Cop #1:

(without looking up)

$50

Dru:

(shocked) $50 for putting your feet on the seat?

Cop #1:
Yeap. (Handing Dru a yellow sheet)

Dru:

Wait. I thought you were giving me a warning.

Cop #1:

I never said that.

Dru:

But...I had no idea.

Cop #1:

You have until the 14th to pay it...otherwise it becomes a misdemeanor. Have

a nice night.

Dru:

This is ridiculous.

- End -

Now not only is the fact that I have to pay $50 to the city of New York because of some douche bag cop who gets his fix by serving up these ridiculous citations, but I just couldn't believe that with all the things occurring in the world right now and talk about how NY is on high alert because of possible terrorists and protecting Times Square of an attack-- this is how NYPD spends their time and my tax money? REALLY?? Give me a break. So, after I was completely dumbfounded by the entire incident I sat around for 30 mins. until the next train came and looked at the slip as the other spectators assumed I was some kind of delinquent. The slip read "caught him with his feet on the seat on 'Q' train" and had "Obstructing Seating" checked off next to "$50." To make sure the situation was rubbed in nicely, on the train ride (2 stops) home. A guy sitting across from me was sitting exactly the same way I was "caught" sitting and fined for. It was like the world was mocking me before my very eyes. Where was the cop then?

All I could think about is how those $50 were better spent on some alcohol or a nice dinner. And if I was to get my first citation (EVER!) I'd much rather it have been for something bad ass like skipping a turn style or peeing on the subway. Lesson learned-- fight temptation and keep your feet off the seats and learn to laugh about it because that's all you can really do.