Shunt

I just got back from probably the most bizarre play I'll ever seen in my life. In London is uber ( I use the word because there is no better term to describe ) trendy to convert places and make interactive shows out of them. Well tonight's play was in abandoned underground tunnels that have been around for years. They are just as you would invision dark, cobblestone, abandoned tunnels to be: eerie as all fuck.

The play is different. It's located within a tube station in London Bridge. You arrive at the abandon tunnel and there is a lady outside with a bunch of keys numbered from 1 to 500. You show her your ticket and she hands you a key with a number on it. First she asks if you are with a group. If you commit the error of saying yes (like I did) she pulls numbers on opposite sides of the spectrum. You walk through the tunnel entrance and it's pitch dark. It's a long stretch of cavernous archs lit from the darkest corners. It's freaky shit. You walk and you have no idea where you are walking and you're completely expecting someone to you pop out and grabbed you and kill you. No joke. You have no idea what you are getting yourself into.

At the end of the tunnel is a posh bar. There are crates around set up like tables, a small bar with a neon SHUNT light lit and a billards table. You stand around for a bit, order drinks if you're so inclined and then finally you are ushered into another tunnel. As you walk in there are these maid, butler people to take your keys and check your coats. As you approach them they have the guys go to one side and the girls to another. You hand them your keys and they give you a card with a person's name on it. They say to you-- you'll be "Tony Montero" tonight. (That's who I was.)

You're then ushered into a lounge area with more creepy maids and butlers serving OLIVES?!? The lounge is decorated like a swingers lounge. There are cushions on the floor, florescent lights and the walls were converted into giant screens that featured buildings. It's suppose to look like you were looking out a penthouse window overlooking a city. So they show the tops of sky scrapers etc. There's a piano, and mood lighting. I decided to sit along side the wall and made it obvious. One of the waitresses came up to me and asked me my name. I said Tony. She said "scout the room for any single or couple that you find attractive. If you can't find one come find me and I'll pick one at my discretion. Now. Do you have any allergies?" I say No. She says "Do you have any back problems?" I say No. She says "Ok. Great take off your clothes and leave them on the floor the maids will be buy to pick them up in a bit." And she walks off. I sit there bewildered as shit and decide to join the rest of people I went with. I went with my class Arts in London.

While you're standing around in this lounge. It reminded me of Eyes Wide Shut. It's a really sketch place that they make you feel you are in some orgy or swingers lounge. The maids are constantly running up to this mike and making random announcements, calling out peoples names, saying we'll start in a bit, telling us to introduce ourselves and mingle. They then start walkign around with giant tubs of petroleum jelly (vaseline) and start randomly putting them around the room. They ask people if they are allergic to latex. It's so fucking weird.

Then a guy storms in through this tiny door with a tarp and says to everyone standing in his way. Move because flood of water will be coming through and you'll get soaked. So people are all moved to one side of the room. Now that I think about it it's probably jsut a way to make everyone focus on the main scene. Over the intercome a voice comes on and says a penthouse of people are about to witness a terrifying act from high above the street. In 4 minutes a power outage will leave the city in darkness. Through the windows of the penthouse strangers will witness a brutal murder. The lights go out.

The maids then run around frantic and yell at us to sit down. Everyone sits down and no one has any idea what's going on. The shades are drawn and this little set is revealed. There almost like mirror images. You see the silhouette of two couples having sex. Then you see them draw the blinds and the two guys crawl out the window with candles. They climb onto this roof top and you're sitting on the floor watching them. Simultaneously they make it to the middle of the roofs where the two houses meet. They light cigarettes and pretend to talk. As they are doing there things their two girlfriends start using the phone. Just then a creepy killer shows up in the dark wearing a pigs head. Freaky. The two bigs end up killing the girls.

The lights go out and the two guys just sit there and stare at the audience. They are peering into "the penthouse window" and see us staring at them. Just then this red phone rings sitting on top of the piano. No one in the audience moves. It keeps ringing until finally a girl stands up and answers it. She listens to what the voice ont he other line says and asks if there is some guy's name in the room. Obviously, another guest with his alias name. He stands up ( a member of the audience) and walks over to the phone. He listens and then before hanging up says "swallows". Almost 15 people in the audience just stand up and walk out of the room through the tiny door. It's bizarre because tehy just do it instinctively. Members of my class just got up and walked out.

I was so confused. Then the lights go out. I'm not going to outline the entire play, but it continues like this the rest of the time. You are ushered into these rooms and you are a part of this ridiculous plot that you have absolutely no idea what's going on. You are lead down random tunnels- phones ring - lights go out - there is full frontal nudity- some humor - murderers - sketchiness - and then.... it's over.

And you have no idea what the fuck you have just been through, but you know it was bizarre as all fuck.